My days would usually start out being sick, and you know I would have to come up with a plan how I’m going to come up with money for the day to get my drugs. From there, It would be either manipulating family members into give me money, stealing from family members, stealing money from them or anything I could possibly pawn off for cash. From there, it would go to calling my drug dealer, sitting around staring at the walls until he answers his phone. My day would just get so much better once I got what I needed and my fix. I just didn’t want to live like that anymore, being addicted to drugs, having to lie every day. Lying every day, manipulating every day. Using my family every day, and just being selfish every day. I felt tired of that.
The night before I came into Ventura Recovery Center, my mom caught me using drugs that whole night, I kind of turned it around on her, flipped it around on her, and made her feel bad about what she was telling me with catching me using drugs, made her feel bad about it pretty much. The next morning I remember waking up, I was back in a somewhat sober state of mind. So her talk with me, was pretty much her losing her son, and she didn’t raise me to be this way, to lie to cheat to steal… To be a drug addict, taking things and that completely went against my cultural background and the way she raised me.
My relationship with my mom has gotten to a place where I never thought it would be before. Before I came to Ventura Recovery Center, the problem was always my mom, because I lived with my mom. Coming here it made me realize that I was the problem. So I was able to look at the role I played, and all the wrongdoings that I did upon my mom. So sit down with my mom, and make amends to her. Even before that, with my first 2-3 weeks here, just being here my mom had a peace of mind. She was comfortable, I was away from home but she knew I was getting better, and she was comfortable with that. I’m able to hold a conversation with my mom today. She sees that she got her son back today.