Life Before Ventura Recovery Center
My life before Ventura Recovery Center was really a mess. I have been battling heroin addiction for the better part of 12 years. And, I would say about the past 10 years I have been using it intravenously. I had been shooting it. I spent a lot of time alone, just shooting heroin and smoking pot and drinking myself into oblivion. And I really didn’t care.
My life just consisted of waking up sick and wondering how I was going to get money that day to get well. A lot of that involved stealing from my family, stealing from my friends, stealing from stores…really doing anything I could to get what I needed. I really could not care less who I hurt and what I was doing to myself or to others.
My last experience, which really brought me back to recovery, was me overdosing. I was actually brought to by some friends and I was really close to death. It really just shook me to my core. It scared me and it really scared my family, obviously.
So, for me, my life before Ventura Recovery Center was really just like having an empty pit inside of me. I really had nothing to live for. I had completely alienated myself from friends and family. I was using so much that I really didn’t care if I lived or died.
My first experience coming into recovery at Ventura Recovery Center was… it was difficult. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. And, at first, I wasn’t very willing. I didn’t have an open mind. And I was pretty resistant to things people were telling me and trying to show me. So it was really a tough process for me. I did not enjoy looking at myself. It involved a lot of coming to terms with the person I had been and that was something I was not willing to do yet. So, the beginning of my experience…it was very tough. It involved a lot of going back and forth and seeing how I could pick and choose what worked best for me and discarding the rest.
When I first came in to Ventura Recovery Center I genuinely did not believe it was going to work. From my previous experiences at rehabs…I had really not gotten anything out of it. So I approached this experience thinking I wasn’t going to get anything out of it again. I was just taking this as a time for a little vacation. I just wanted to appease my parents. I wanted to get back into their good graces. I didn’t know what else to do but to agree to come to rehab.
What Is Life Like Now?
Life now for me is really really wonderful. My life is full in so many different ways. I am now able to be the son, the brother, the boyfriend that I knew I could be. I am employable. People actually want to be around me. They actually want me to come to family functions. Which, for a long time I didn’t think was possible. I have a great sober network and I am in a place where I have a program, including a sponsor who is just everything to my program. It is what keeps me sober. I really wouldn’t change anything.