Whether you’ve been married for years or are newlyweds, there are many problems that can cause friction in your marriage. Depending on the survey you consult, the top three reasons for divorce vary, but usually money issues, adultery, and substance abuse tend to rank highly on every survey. So what can you do if your marriage is in trouble and you experience one of these serious problems? Can your marriage survive?
Obviously, effective communication is crucial. So here are some tips from Ventura Recovery Center to help you try to decide whether to work on saving your marriage or begin the process of ending it.
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Always ranked at or near the top of nearly every list of the causes of divorce, arguments over money are the bane of many committed relationships. The exact nature of money problems varys from couple to couple; for example, some couples differ over their expectations about who earns what. Arguments frequently result when one spouse earns more than the other, or one has more debt than the other. Fortunately, there are several ways to figure out how to divide up finances that are fair and reasonable for each partner.
There are many options for addressing financial strain, such as one or both partners picking up part-time jobs to help alleviate debt. If you’re experiencing financial difficulty, look into the benefits of refinancing your home. If you think this idea might help but your credit is a bit rocky, look into the benefits of using a mortgage broker to streamline the process.
It’s easy to see why infidelity is such a major cause of divorce. For most people, there are few worse betrayals than having their spouse engage in a relationship with another person, even if that relationship is more emotional than physical. Yet many marriages survive infidelity and get back on track if the respective parties are serious about preserving the union and dedicate themselves to open, honest communication. To move beyond adultery, couples need to focus on specific behaviors and techniques to heal and prevent future cases of cheating.
It is particularly sad when relationships end over one or both partner’s issues with substance abuse. However, there are ways for marriages to survive issues with drugs, alcohol, or other addictive issues. First, recognize the signs of addiction. There are many signs, including a change of personality, taking risks the person normally wouldn’t, issues at home or at work, denial, obsession, legal and financial troubles, and more.
If your spouse isn’t interested in getting help, you may need to have an intervention to get your spouse to understand the toll his or her addiction is taking on your relationship. With any luck, your partner will consent to entering a treatment program. Once your spouse is in treatment, work with doctors and learn how to care for someone in recovery. Ask what you need to do to make your home welcoming to your loved one. Visit and call as often as possible and participate in family therapy.
Make no mistake: it is very difficult for marriages to recover from the stress, confusion, and sense of betrayal that these situations–and many others–create in one or both spouses. However, if you follow the advice outlined above and are serious about dedicating time and emotional resources to salvaging your relationship, it is definitely possible for couples to rekindle the spark that brought them together and move past some rocky periods in their lives together.
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Written by Brad Krause of selfcaring.info